For all my life I have been haunted by the questions, “What is my purpose as a woman?” “Why am I even here?” Have you?
I have grown up getting the impression from a lot of the people that basically all I am good for as a woman is as simple as this, ‘You get married, cook, clean and have kids.’ I took one look at how people defined biblical womanhood and ran away as fast as I could. That was not at all what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to do what I wanted to do. And the words helper and submit made me squirm. I wanted to make something of myself. There had to be more to life than just getting married and having kids. Right?!
So I set out to prove them wrong. I wanted to prove that I could be a tough farm girl that had no need for pink frilly things. For those of you who know me personally you know I’m not really a girly-girl and I enjoy the outdoors, animals and dirt! Well let me get down real personal here. I hated the fact that I was a girl. One day I even told my mom that. God had given me the gift of being a woman and I had thrown it in the mud and stomped on it. I wanted no part of what I had been told was womanhood. And I was determined that I was not going to be a lady. No joke! I remember how often I would get mad and be like, ‘Why did God have to make me a girl??!’ I would get mad when a guy would open the door, for some reason I thought he was trying to prove that I was weak and not capable of opening the door myself. I hated the idea of my future husband protecting me, ‘I can protect myself.’ I thought. I hated the idea of submitting to a husband. Everything that had to do with being a woman made me cringe.
Over the past year God has really softened my heart to Him and His Word. I have done A LOT of searching. Last month I got the book Girl Defined by Kristen Clark and Bethany Baird. It is AMAZING. Every woman needs to read it! As I was reading it they answered the question, ‘What is a woman’s purpose?’ I cannot get the whole book into one post so you’ll just have to go buy it for 9 dollars and 20 cents on Amazon so you can have the same life transforming experience I had!!! Anyway here is a quick overview of the three pillars of Biblical womanhood.
#1: SHE HELPS OTHERS
Helper. When you read that word, what comes to mind? Do you think of a successful woman or a woman being treated like a doormat? God has made us to help others. He created woman for man. But you know something REALLY awesome?! God uses the same exact Hebrew word for helper to describe himself. God is perfect and holy. He would never use a word to describe himself that wasn’t worthy.
#2: SHE PRODUCES LIFE
We as women are chosen by God to bring life into the world. God made us for this job. Producing life (both physically and spiritually) is at the core of womanhood. Not everyone will get married and not everyone will be able to have kids. But God still calls us to invest in people and be life givers.
#3: SHE NURTURES RELATIONSHIPS
God chose to create women to be highly relational beings. We were created to find satisfaction in deep, meaningful, God-honoring relationships. God wants us first to fill ourselves with him so that we then go out and share God’s love with others. It doesn’t matter how young or old you are, or whether you’re married or single, every woman in every stage of life has the ability to nurture relationships for God’s glory.
So this is a very brief condensed version of what they have in the book. But by the time I got to this chapter in the book I was really seeing what God had truly made me for. Tears ran down my face as I realized how guilty I was. And I prayed, ‘I’m so sorry I didn’t except your design for me… Thank you God for giving me the honor of being a woman.’
That night around midnight as I sat in my bed crying, I accepted God’s definition of womanhood.
Yes that includes the word helper. Yes I want to be a lady. No I still don’t like frilly pink things! Yes I do not hate guys who open doors for me. Yes I want to get married. Yes I LOVE the fact that God gave me the gift of being a woman. And yes someday I’d love to have kids.
This book helped me see what God’s purpose was for me. That I did have a reason for being here. And that I needed to find my identity in Christ alone. And also that I had a lot of selfish pride to get rid of.
I’ve changed a lot haven’t I?
This is probably my favorite quote from the book:
“God made you a female on purpose and for a purpose.”
God has us here for a purpose.Wherever you are, God placed you there for a reason. Maybe that’s getting married and having kids. Maybe that’s leading a Bible study or prayer group. Maybe that’s loving that hard to love person. Maybe it’s taking time to show Jesus to someone at the store. Whatever it is don’t fight God’s design for you as a female. Embrace it. When you do you will find freedom.
“Every creature of God is given something that could be called an inconvenience, I suppose, depending on one’s perspective. The elephant and the mouse might each complain about his size, the turtle about his shell, the bird about the weight of his wings. … The special gift and ability of each creature defines its special limitations. And as the bird easily comes to terms with the necessity of bearing wings when it finds that it is, in fact, the wings that bear the bird — up, away from the world, into the sky, into freedom — so the woman who accepts the limitations of womanhood finds in those very limitations her gifts, her special calling — wings, in fact, which bear her up into perfect freedom, into the will of God. “ – Let Me Be a Women